Fighting Gravity
by Queen Sunshadow
Summary: Batman has always made a point to keep his regular life separate from his life as a crime fighter. Yet the Joker seems to worm his way into everything, especially places he doesn’t belong. BWxJ Possible spoilers
1. Escape

**Summary:** Batman has always made a point to keep his regular life separate from his life as a crime fighter. Yet the Joker seems to worm his way into everything, especially places he doesn't belong. BWxJ Possible spoilers

**Disclaimer:** Bruce Wayne/Batman, Joker, and anyone else I throw in here do not belong to me.

**Rating: **Mature

**Warnings: **Swearing, violence, cross-dressing, and slash

**Pairings: **Bruce Wayne/Joker, Batman/Joker

**Note: **I'm a massive fan of slash/yaoi/man on man, or whatever you want to call it, but I don't see much Batman slash on here, which depresses me. So I have taken the liberty of writing my own to fill the void! :D Forgive me if any of the characters are OOC (especially Joker, who is based off of Heath Ledger's version), I've only seen The Dark Knight once and I'm going off of what I observed during the movie.

If you have any suggestions, leave a review and tell me! Flames shall be laughed at and severely mocked.

'_Italics_'- Thoughts of characters

"_Italics_" - Whispering

* * *

Chapter One- Escape

* * *

The streets of Gotham were unusually quiet for once, save for the constant murmur of traffic coming from the always busy roads below. The people, as always, were blissfully unaware of the pair of watchful eyes that looked out over them, studying the dark alleyways for trouble or anywhere else for that matter. It had been two hours since the Batman had left his penthouse, leaving behind his true identity and slipping into his alias with ease.

When he wasn't busy with company meetings, or parties that he tended to throw for no real reason (admittedly he liked to show off his wealth, but he'd never say it aloud) the billionaire would slip out, becoming the caped crusader that protected Gotham City. Of course, all that had changed since the incident with James Gordon and Harvey Dent (or Twoface), which had turned the citizens of Gotham against him. Honestly Batman wasn't concerned that he was hated, just like he didn't care if he was loved.

His only purpose was to protect the people, and he would do it with or without their adoration.

After deeming the city safe for now at least, Batman decided it would be best to head back home, and resume his usual life as Bruce Wayne, who was supposed to be sleeping at the moment. Gracefully the masked man leapt from atop the building he had been standing on, clutching his cape and using it as a glider, flying silently through the night towards his motorcycle, the last part of the Batmobile he had left. Till Lucius Fox prepared him a new one, of course.

Batman slipped onto his bike, revving the engine briefly for amusement before he peeled out of the lone alleyway he had parked in, swerving through the dark streets. He purposely took the least populated route, to avoid being scene, and soon found himself back at his hideout, where Alfred was no doubt waiting for him. The elevator platform brought he and his motorcycle down into the depths, before it halted in an enormous white room, filled with computer screens and other gadgets that came along with being Batman.

Slowly the crime fighter rolled his bike into it's usual spot, before he pulled off his mask, revealing Bruce Wayne in all his glory. Well, most of his glory, considering his usually slicked back hair was now unkempt and askew. Damn mask did that to him all the time.. The billionaire began to remove his Batman uniform, finally noticing that Alfred didn't seem to be around, which was very strange. Perhaps he had given the old man the wrong time during his call? Bruce shrugged, making sure his uniform was tucked securely away before he padded (barefoot) over to a large metal cabinet, which contained a few spare suits for occasions such as these.

Normally Alfred would bring him a change of clothes, but in this case it seemed he was on his own. Once he was completely dressed in the crisp black suit, white dress shirt, patterned tie, and well polished shoes, Wayne briskly walked back to the elevator platform and rode back up to join the rest of the world once more. He was pleasantly surprised to see his butler in the yard, standing outside his parked Lamborghini, which must have been his method of transportation.

"I apologize for the delay Master Wayne, but it would seem you used more gas in your car than you thought. Naturally I took it upon myself to refill the tank before coming to pick you up. I assume your 'nightly watching' went well?" Alfred stood aside as he held the door open for the younger man, letting him slide into the driver's before proceeding to get into the passenger seat himself. Normally the older man would drive, but that was with the limo, and it was no secret that Bruce loved to drive his Lamborghini.

"Yes, but it was strangely quiet tonight.. Then again, it always seems quiet when the Joker's not around, making trouble. As long as he's in Arkham I doubt we'll be seeing too much crime." Bruce Wayne felt a bit smug, knowing that he (Batman) frightened the criminals so much that they toned down on their crime wave. However he knew The Joker had brought the courage back out in them, which could be problematic later on..

"Doubt can be a very bad thing, Master Wayne, as you and I both know. I suggest that you keep your eyes open, whether Gotham is Jokerless or not. You never know when another one of those 'types' could pop up." Bruce nodded absently in reply to Alfred's words, though he knew deep inside that there'd never been anyone as warped and twisted as the Joker, no one. Yet as crazed as the man was, he just couldn't bring himself to kill him.

Sure, Joker had taken more lives than Bruce cared to count, which gave him every right to loathe the man so much that he'd want to kill him, yet he couldn't do it. Why? Such a thought puzzled the powerful man to no end and he considered voicing his concerns to Alfred, who always gave him good advice whether it be pertaining to clothes, women, or his crime fighting. However something made him want to keep this information to himself, so he remained silent the rest of the ride back to his penthouse, thoughts tumbling around in his head.

* * *

Arkham was not a fun place, not at all.

The Joker found himself wondering how someone could design such a hideous place, and then make supposedly insane people live in it. If anything it would make them crazier! He knew that he wasn't out of his mind, that he didn't belong in this loony bin, but he sat within his padded cell, wearing a smile as though he hadn't a care in the world. The first week he was there they'd forced him to wear a straight jacket, but when he made no attempts to remove it (he actually found it to be quite fun to wear) they decided it was safe to let him out of it.

So now he was simply stuck in a white room all day and night, save for when he was allowed to go to the restroom. It was a good thing he wasn't bothered by people watching him, otherwise he might have something to say to the two guards who came into the bathroom with him and watched him like a hawk. But now, after three weeks of being in the asylum, Joker was starting to get bored of the place. And, he missed Batman.

The other was just so much fun to toy with! Seeing the rage cross his face every time they had an encounter was priceless. And the confusion.. Yes, he saw that too within the Dark Knight's eyes, whenever he compared them, showed their similarities. He let out a soft giggle as their 'good times' played through his head, hardly noticing the pairs of arms grabbing him roughly and pulling him out of the white room he now called home.

"C'mon you sick fuck, time for you to take your piss." One of the men (the one Joker liked to call Lemon, since he was always so sour) growled as he tugged the notorious villain into the one roomed bathroom used specifically for Arkham inhabitants. The Joker complied as he always did, whistling cheerfully as he undid his fly and prepared to take care of business. As he did so, a whispered conversation began behind him, one that he took great interest in.

"It's a good fucking thing Wayne Enterprises donated this shit heap some money. Now we're getting better pay _and_ the security's gonna get even better. So freaks like you won't have any chances of escaping." The last sentence the second man said was spoken loudly and directed at Joker, whom he shoved to show he was speaking to him.

"Yeah, guess Bruce Wayne's finally got his head out of his ass long enough to see what's going on outside his precious company. Can you imagine.. We're fucking stuck here watching these crazy bitches while he gets to have parties every night! What I wouldn't do for that kind of money.." The two guards continued to talk, but the Joker blocked them out, focusing instead on the information he had just received. Bruce Wayne.. The billionaire?

How intriguing.. He recalled that he had been to one of Wayne's parties before, but for Harvey Dent, and not once had he seen the host. Well, he'd have to amend that little problem, wouldn't he? Slowly Joker turned around to face his guards, the same ones he'd had since the time he arrived, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips as it did constantly. He missed the taste of paint that usually came from this action.. The damn asylum had forcefully washed his 'make-up' off, as a form of punishment, letting the rest of the world see his scars.

It wasn't that he was scared to show his face, but rather that he enjoyed getting 'dolled up.' It was a game for him, it all was.. He had to fit his part, just like Batman had to fit his own, with that interestingly skin tight costume and all those worthless gadgets.. All the Joker himself needed was a knife to keep him happy, which unfortunately he didn't possess at the moment. Ah well, he could improvise.

"Hey? You done? Let's get the fuck out of here then.." Hands reached out to grab him, but the Joker snatched one of the arms (it happened to be 'Lemon's') and sidled up close to the guard, grinning up at him with a peculiar look on his face, "What the fuck you doing clown?" The burly guard appeared to be more nervous than anything, not sure whether to start beating the other down or to just keep trying to get him out of the bathroom.

"Ah ah ah, you can't call me a clown when I'm not wearing my 'costume' now can you?" Indeed, he'd also been striped off his suit and forced to wear a gown of sorts, one that had his cell number imprinted on his right breast. 13. Unlucky number 13.. Somehow it fit perfectly. Like he and Batman.. "I've just got one thing to ask you before we go.." The Joker stood on his tip toes in order to get his mouth to the other man's ear, seeing as 'Lemon' was a giant compared to him, "_Why so serious?_"

Without warning, the Joker violently shoved the much larger male into the wall, his head smashing into the paper towel dispenser. Before he could recover, and his partner could react, the villain seized his hair and began to brutally slam the man's head into the corner of the metal box housing the towels. He cackled with joy as blood began to cover his hands, spurting from a deep crack within the guard's head due to the trauma of being continuously slammed into a sharp, hard corner.

Finally the other guard reacted and lunged at the Joker with an animalistic growl, causing the lithe man to jump away from the slumping, bleeding body and out of the way. The guard now thundered back towards him, only to be viciously hit with one of the batons they used on the prisoners. Apparently Joker had gotten his hands on his partner's.. The guard tried to ignore the stars he was seeing, and the throbbing in his jaw, stumbling back towards the villain who only laughed in response and swung the baton again, catching him in the temple.

The force of the hit cause the larger man to go down, collapsing on the tiled floor with a wheeze, fading in and out of consciousness. He watched as a pair of bare feet appeared in front of his eyes, and then the baton was prodding him in the chest, making him feel like a little bug being tormented by a child with a stick. A hoarse laugh escaped him before the baton came down on his head again, causing his world to become dark.

* * *

It was surprising that the workers of Arkham could still be normal people, considering where they worked and who they worked with. But outside the hallways filled with cells, in brightly lit rooms with plenty of furniture and entertainment, Arkham employees laughed and talked and joked around, as any people would. None of them noticed as a shorter than usual guard slipped past, his head down and his eyes on the floor. Nor did they notice his uniform was stained with some dark substance, or that he was wearing an eerie smile.

No one noticed as the Joker made his escape, which was of course, all part of the plan.

* * *

**Author's Note:** The title is based off one of the Joker's quotes from The Dark Knight: "Y'see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little...push."


	2. Rich Man's World

(Warnings and all that other junk will be found in the first chapter)

**Disclaimer:** Bruce Wayne/Batman, Joker, and anyone else I throw in here do not belong to me.

**Note: **Well, second chapter right away! You're lucky I really like this story, otherwise you wouldn't be getting so many frequent updates! Just wanted to thank those who reviewed/had this story alerted. I'm glad to know that people are enjoying it. Somehow I think this chapter will disappoint but I did my best. I'm still trying to figure out a solid plot line that'll make sense so bear with me.

'_Italics_'- Thoughts of characters

"_Italics_" – Whispering

* * *

Chapter Two- Rich Man's World

* * *

Morning came all too soon at the Wayne household, leaving the billionaire's mind fuzzy from lack of sleep, which he figured he ought to be used to by now. However it'd been harder than usual to get to sleep that night, which he blamed entirely on the Joker, who refused to leave his thoughts. Bruce groaned as he sat up and stretched, his back cracking deliciously and leaving him feeling a lot less stiff than before. Alfred would arrive in his massive bedroom soon (which of course contained a king sized bed, a massive wardrobe, among other things), ready to alert him about his schedule for the day and force food down his throat.

The dark haired man padded into the bathroom that was connected to his bedroom, grabbing a fluffy towel and setting it on the sink before he turned the knobs in the shower and warm water thundered down. He tried not to grimace as he was forced to see all the scars that came from his other 'job' while he undressed, usually only wearing a pair of boxers and a wife beater to bed. But he had to admit.. the physical pain he suffered was nothing compared to the emotional and mental pain..

Such thoughts were washed from his mind as he stepped into the shower, letting the jets of warm water cascade over his toned body and soothe his tired muscles. He snapped out of his daze after a moment and proceeded to wash himself thoroughly, scrubbing at his skin as though he were trying to get all the evil he'd come in contact with off of him. Unfortunately it would never completely leave him, this he knew..

Twenty minutes later the knobs were turned once again, this time ending the continuous flow of water, and Bruce grabbed the towel he'd left out for himself, lazily drying himself off. At least now he was clean and a bit more awake, though he still could head right back into bed if given the opportunity. Wrapping the towel securely around his waist, Wayne opened the door of the now steamy bathroom and stepped out into much cooler air, shivering involuntarily.

"Ah good, you're awake. I was afraid I was going to have to bring in a bucket of water today and dump it all over your nice silk sheets. Wouldn't want that, hm?" Alfred stood in the doorway to his bedroom, holding a tray full of food that Bruce wasn't sure he was up to eating at the moment. "Shall I pick out your outfit today Master Wayne? You have two conference meetings, and if I remember correctly, a date with a young female whom you met at one of your parties around lunchtime. Is that still on or am I to inform her that you're cancelling?"

"Clothes would be nice Alfred, and.. tell her that I am cancelling, merely because I'm having another party tonight. To celebrate.. whatever." Honestly Bruce was running out of excuses to have parties, but he really didn't think his guests would care if they had a reason to be going to the now famous Wayne penthouse. His long time butler nodded slowly before he began to pick through the enormous wardrobe Bruce had, pulling out a dark gray suit, a cream colored dress shirt, and a matching gray and black tie.

"I'll let you handle the underclothes yourself, Master Wayne." The old man winked before he exited the room, probably off to call whoever that woman was that Bruce was supposed to be seeing today. Once left alone, the billionaire began to get dressed methodically, starting with his boxers, then socks, and so on and so forth. His eyes landed on the food briefly, and his nose wrinkled a bit in disinterest, so he simply drank the coffee and left the rest of the meal on the tray.

After brushing his teeth and gelling back his hair, he deemed himself ready to head into Wayne Enterprises to take on another day as the richest man in Gotham.

* * *

Getting out of Arkham was easy, however getting a ride back into Gotham proved to be nearly impossible. The Joker had to walk at least two miles to get into an area where people actually _ventured_. Arkham Asylum was placed on the outskirts of Gotham for a reason after all, and no one wanted to get close to the 'crazy people' in case they happened to escape. If only they knew just how easily he'd escaped.. Then they'd move themselves six miles away instead of two.

Needless to say, after quite a bit of walking, the Joker was more than ready to get a lift, and happened to pounce on an old man driving his beat up pick up truck back into Gotham. After disposing of the other male's corpse, the infamous villain was speeding into the city he loved to torment, looking forward to meeting this mysterious 'Bruce Wayne' character. From what the guards had said, the man didn't seem overly pleasant, which didn't bother the Joker in the least.

After all, what was more fun than a stereotypical stuck up rich guy? Nothing! Well, besides Batman, but Joker would play with him later.

As he drove, the clown-like man began to dig through the glove compartment, haphazardly steering and nearly ramming into other cars. He was thrilled to find a hunting knife within the compartment, and compulsively kissed the blade. Not seeing a knife for three weeks was enough to drive him insane.. The sharp object was slipped into his pants pocket (which were a little too big for him, considering he'd taken them from 'Lemon') and his attention was once more on the road, so he wouldn't get caught before the fun even began.

Finally he came to a screeching halt outside a very fancy, expensive looking restaurant, where all the posh rich people were dining without a care. Surely one of _them_ would know what Bruce Wayne was up to.. With that thought in mind, the Joker slid out of 'his' truck and slammed the door, whistling a tune as he walked into the alleyway alongside the restaurant, where the side entrance for employees was located. It was hardly a challenge to slip past the waiters and waitresses, who were bustling around like their asses were on fire, not even sparing him a glance.

The Joker then silently entered the men's restroom, where he lay in wait for anyone who happened to come in… Luckily he barely had to wait long at all, and his victim sauntered in wearing the classic penguin clothing and a scornful look on his face. He certainly wasn't expecting to be shoved into the wall, with an extremely threatening knife pressed against his throat. Though the Joker wasn't wearing his usual face paint, the tell-tale scars by his mouth gave him away, and the rich man began to shudder uncontrollably.

"Shh.. Calm down.. Normally I'd be flattered if I made you wet yourself, but right now I need you to answer a few questions for me. Can you do that? That's right.. Nod your head.." The villain was basically cooing to his victim, acting more like a mother than a serial killer, "Now, first question. Do you know Bruce Wayne? You do? Oh good! Second question, do you know him _well_? No? Tsk tsk.. What about this, do you know him well enough to be invited to his parties? Wonderful! Now last question, and then I can let you drain the main vein, alright? When is Bruce Wayne's next party?"

"T-Tonight! It's tonight! At his penthouse! Now please let me go.. Don't cut up my face.. I'm getting married and if you cut it up.." The blubbering man trailed off, more concerned for his looks than anything else, which made the Joker tap his knife against his lip thoughtfully.

".. Do you wanna know how I got these scars?"

* * *

Dresses were very comfortable, a fact that Joker had soon noticed after he played dress up when visiting Harvey Dent. The lightness, the airiness of a dress.. They didn't confine or trap you like pants did, but rather covered you from prying eyes and still let you be free. Plus the Joker had a fascination with spinning around in them and watching the skirt fly up around him. So, that explained exactly why the male was currently trying on dresses within one of the small cubicles in an expensive clothing store.

He wasn't dumb either, contrary to what people thought of him; being a woman would make it easier for him to hide his ugly scars. Cover up was a beautiful thing.. He already basically wore lipstick, so that hardly bothered him, and neither did the rest of the stuff. Sure it wasn't the same as his precious war paint, but it would have to do if he wanted to make a 'good impression' on Bruce Wayne.

Finally the Joker settled on a blood red dress (he decided that color looked best on him) with spaghetti straps, a ruched bodice and a bubble hem that came down to his knees. Absently he scratched at his leg hair, realizing that he was going to have to take care of that if he was going to wear a dress that showed so much leg. And maybe he should get a shawl of some sort to hide his 'man shoulders.'

With a shrug the Joker pulled out his knife once again and sliced the price tag off of the dress, before he flounced out of the dressing room to look for a pair of shoes to match his outfit. The looks he received were very entertaining, but he managed to resist grinning at them all, instead keeping his head low as he made his way to the shoe section of the store. After finding a pair of red pumps that fit, the Joker was out of there, making running in high heels look easy.

Which was impressive for someone who'd only worn heels once before.

* * *

It really wasn't necessary for him to change suits for a party, yet Bruce found himself doing it anyways, now changing into a black suit with a red dress shirt and a black tie. He always felt the desire to come off as clean, professional, and of course, rich. Plus at the moment he had nothing better to do, besides wait for guests to arrive, which was something he didn't exactly enjoy doing. There were always certain people who came early in order to try to get him alone (mostly women) and being trapped with them bothered him to no end. It was like being a lamb thrown in with a pack of wolves. Make that _starving_ wolves.

However once he squirted a bit of cologne on himself, he had no other form of 'primping' and was forced to exit the safety of his room. The main area for guests was already starting to fill, which wasn't too bad considering it was only six forty-five and the party was meant to start at seven. The sooner they arrived, the sooner they left, or so Bruce tried to convince himself. A glass of wine was held out to him, and he took it gratefully.

"Thought you'd need something to lift your spirits. You're looking down already and the party hasn't even started." Alfred chuckled to himself before he disappeared into the growing crowd of people, no doubt to chat with them or pass out wine. Bruce downed the glass of white wine with one gulp, knowing for a fact that he was going to need more than one glass to get through this. Before.. with Rachel it had been easier to stand such get togethers.

But now that the woman was gone, the billionaire felt oddly abandoned and alone, unsure what to do with himself. He didn't have to worry about finding the right person, if there were ever a day Batman wasn't needed, because Rachel would be waiting for him. And now.. now he had no one waiting, no one to love when his 'career' as Batman ended.

Bruce realized after a moment that his posture was completely rigid, his eyes cold and dark, which probably explained why his guests were avoiding him rather than coming to say hello. He forced himself to relax, letting a casual smile drift across his face before he decided to finally mingle with his guests. An hour managed to slip by without him even noticing it, and he returned to the refreshment table searching for another glass of wine (this would be his third), only to notice a woman unfamiliar to him.

It was possible that she was one of his employee's dates, but she stood off to the corner alone, surveying the crowd with eyes outlined in black eyeliner. Bruce curiously let his eyes slip over the woman, admiring how well her red dress fit her, and trying not to gape at how long and gorgeous her legs were. Slowly his eyes worked their way back up to the female's face, which was well powdered, her lips a shocking crimson that matched her dress perfectly. Her short chestnut hair flipped out at the bottom and almost appeared to be messy, as though she hadn't bothered to comb it before she left.

She wasn't exactly beautiful, but she had a charm about her that had him enticed..

There was something.. strangely familiar about this woman, as though he had seen her before, but he couldn't place it. Perhaps if he spoke to her he'd figure out where he'd met her previously. With that thought in mind, he grabbed two glasses of wine and made his way over to the woman in the red dress, smiling politely and holding the wine out to her. She eyed him with a curious expression, and for a moment he thought she didn't know who he was. When she didn't say anything to him, or even sip the wine, Bruce assumed that she didn't know his name and was expecting an introduction.

"I'm sorry.. I don't think I've seen you around here before. I'm Bruce Wayne, the host of this party. I hope you're enjoying yourself." Now the woman's eyes flashed, and a smile curled her lips before she held out a hand. A very.. large hand. The billionaire shook his head and took the other's hand, shaking it while waiting for her to give him a name. Instead she let go of his hand and pointed at her throat, before coughing, imitating speaking, and shaking her head. "Oh you're sick? Well maybe you shouldn't have come.."

Now the woman looked hurt, her eyes batting as though she were about to cry and lips pulled into a frown. Bruce regretted his words and instantly tried to amend them. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just don't want you to be.. tiring yourself out, is all. Or making the sickness worse. It must be pretty bad if you can't even speak." She nodded with sad eyes, wrapping her free arm around herself protectively, a gesture that called out to Bruce.

"Would you like to dance?" The question surprised him more than it did the woman, who raised her hand to her mouth in a flattered gesture, now batting her eyes for a completely different reason than before. The billionaire fought to keep a blush back, wanting to retain his unbreakable appearance, before he stole away the other's glass of wine and set it beside his on the table. Then he held out his arm to her, and she grasped it cautiously, as though unsure about what she was doing.

Hell he was even unsure about what he was doing. Usually the women asked him to dance, not the other way around! But it seemed this night was one of many surprises.. The couple made their way out onto the designated dance spot, where a small orchestra played softly in the background while people danced along to the music. Naturally Bruce placed himself and the woman in the center of the floor, so all attention was on them, before he got themselves into the proper dancing position.

It was so strange, having this woman pressed against him. She wasn't soft, like all the other women he'd ever danced with, but hard, firm, durable. For some reason he felt pleased by this, glad to know that she wouldn't break, that she wouldn't leave him when he needed her most. Bruce blinked as he realized what he'd been thinking and shook his head. This woman was not Rachel, and she would never be Rachel. He didn't even know her name!

Yet.. as they danced he couldn't help but feel something for her, a pull.. Like Earth's pull to the Sun, in a way. It was the only comparison he could really agree with, yet even in his head it sounded cheesy. When the song ended she still clung to him, leaning into his chest so he couldn't see her face. Bruce lead her off the dance floor, one arm wrapped around her waist and the other hanging by his side, as if he were unsure what to do with it.

"Would you like some more wine?" The head against him shook back and forth, so Bruce grabbed a glass for himself, finishing it in one swift gulp. The billionaire then led the woman out to the balcony which was thankfully empty and quiet, thinking perhaps he could get even just her name out of her. While he looked out at the city, she wriggled around in his hold, managing to free herself from his arm before she looked up at him. Their eyes met and they held each other's gaze, until, almost as though he wasn't controlling his body, he leaned down and kissed her, his hands resting on her hips.

Bruce felt her stiffen a bit in surprise, and he glanced at her through slit eyes to see that her own were wide with shock. However they soon slipped closed, and her lips parted, granting him access into her mouth. The billionaire's tongue tangled with a _complete stranger_, both of them fighting for control which Bruce ultimately gained, now pushing the woman against the balcony railing. She tasted like wine, and some of the pastries left out for the guests, but there was something else there..

Before he knew what was happening, a pair of hands pressed against his chest and gave him a firm shove, causing him to stumble backwards. He watched in confusion as the woman he'd just been making out with dusted off her dress, offered him a smile, and blew him a kiss before flouncing back into the penthouse. Bruce stood there for a moment, stunned by what had just happened; he _never_ was pushed away.. Coming to his senses, the now slightly disheveled man raced after the woman, pushing through the crowd of guests that seemed to swarm him.

He thought he saw a flash of red disappear around a corner, and he knew it was too late. The mysterious woman in the red dress was gone.. and he didn't even know her name. But, he had figured out what else he'd tasted when they kissed, and his stomach churned uncomfortably.

Blood.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Ugh I'm not happy with this chapter at all. IT'S LONG AND RAMBLY AND NOT VERY GOOD. The Joker's a hard character to get right, as I'm noticing, and I think I'm failing miserably. However I refuse to let that get me down! Wonder what the Joker's thoughts on this whole encounter are, hm? Oh and just so you know, I'm going away **tomorrow** and I won't be back till **Friday**. That will be when the next update comes. Review if you've got suggestions/complaints/insults!

God I love Joker in dresses.


	3. Thrown for a Loop

(Warnings and all that other junk will be found in the first chapter)

**Disclaimer:** Bruce Wayne/Batman, Joker, and anyone else I throw in here do not belong to me.

**Note: **I'm so sorry. I know I said I'd get this out yesterday but I couldn't get it off my mom's laptop to work on it so basically I was stuck. ;; Plus my mood hasn't been great lately and I'm not really feeling the urge to write. Depression is a bitch. Anyways, thanks for the reviews and such, they give me motivation to actually do something besides mope around. XD

Sorry this chapter is short. I wanted to save the ACTION stuff for the next chapter.

'_Italics_'- Thoughts of characters

"_Italics_" – Whispering

* * *

Chapter Three- Thrown for a Loop

* * *

The woman in the red dress that had mysteriously shown up at Bruce Wayne's party for no real reason was currently sprinting down the street, away from the billionaire's penthouse. Her expression was a mixture of annoyance, confusion, and frustration, her hands clenched into fists at her side while her eyes remained narrowed. She turned sharply into an alleyway, where a white van with no plates lay in wait, a man seated in the driver's seat wearing a rubber clown mask, his black gloved hands tapping on the steering wheel impatiently.

Once the woman got into the car, the van sprung to life and peeled out of the alleyway, heading in the direction of the not so savory part of Gotham, where most criminals (if any) lived, whether it be in the shabby apartments or outside of them on the street. With a soft growl, the woman reached up and tugged off her hair, which turned out to be a wig, revealing stringy and messy green/brown hair. The Joker said nothing to his henchman, rubbing irately at the make-up on his face as though it were burning his face, only succeeding in smearing the lipstick and getting cover up all over the back of his hand.

"Worst party I've ever been to." He declared to no one in particular, though his lips were pursed in a manner that suggested he didn't believe his own words. Honestly he had no idea what the fuck had happened at that party (not as though he usually knew what was going on) and he was more than just a bit puzzled by his actions. Sexual relations, or even sexual pleasure was rarely on the Joker's mind, and though he knew he could get any woman into bed with him (willingly or not), he never felt the desire to sleep with any of them.

Admittedly he had found Ms. Rachel Dawes attractive, but he'd felt nothing when she'd been blown up, only that twisted joy he always got when someone was killed. Even if she had lived while Harvey Dent perished, he wouldn't have tried to sleep with her, simply because it didn't seem… _fun_ to him. All men slept with women, and it wasn't an unusual occurrence. But he, the Joker, thrived on the unique, the bizarre, the unusual.

He loved to stand out and be the center of attention, no matter what he had to do to get it. So, it only made sense that he was more interested in his gender than the opposite, because _queers_ were _strange_. At least in some people's minds. No one knew of his sexual preferences, and he hadn't found a good time to show them off, too occupied with Batman to really do much else. Ah.. Batman.. A shiver rolled down the Joker's spine as he thought of the broody man, tongue flicking out to wet his lips and taste his smeared lipstick. That man made him so _excited_, and not just in the eager way, but sexually as well.

And he was the only man so far that could do that to him.

Till he laid his dark eyes on Mr. Wayne, of course. The Joker had pictured the billionaire in his mind as some incredibly obese man, who rolled around in an electric chair made of gold, ordering people around. The only time he'd ever read the Gotham Newspaper was when he wanted to learn more about Harvey Dent, and even when it mentioned the party for him there hadn't been a picture of the infamous Bruce Wayne, who had hosted it.

Naturally the Joker was shocked, and yet also pleasantly surprised, to find that Bruce was neither fat, nor bossy, but muscled, handsome, and strangely polite. When the other man had first approached him, the villain had thought he was just some pervert interested in his _beautiful_ body. But no, it had been Mr. Wayne himself, and their encounter together had been extremely.. intriguing. Numerous times during the night the Joker was preparing himself to start talking, to pull out his knife (it was attached to his leg in a specially made knife holder) from beneath his skirt, with full intentions of carving up Bruce's face.

Yet every time he started to feel it was a good point in the evening to perform such a deed, the billionaire would do something that made him curious and interested, like a child with a new toy that just kept doing fun things when it was nearly getting bored. Like dancing, for example. The Joker was certainly not ready for such an invitation, and when the other man held him it took an enormous amount of will power not to stab him viciously with his knife.

No one touched the Joker so.. intimately. Like they actually _cared_ about him. The entire time they danced the villain had been uncomfortable and alert, waiting for Bruce to do anything that he would consider… unacceptable. But no, that damn man just had to be a gentleman and keep his hands to himself! No groping or anything! And he'd done such a good job with his breasts too.. Glumly the Joker removed the balloons he had filled with pudding, to give them that.. squishy feeling, tossing them carelessly to the floor of the van.

Then of course, there'd been the kiss. He didn't even have an excuse for _that_. He hadn't.. done anything in response! Well.. besides kiss him back.. No violent beating, no stabbing, not even a slap! The Joker screeched furiously while he clutched at his hair, tugging on it as though he were punishing himself for his actions. The henchman driving paused to glance at him with what the villain assumed was a freaked out look (he couldn't tell by the mask), and suddenly his anger was directed towards him.

He knew how to make himself feel a bit better.. The knife slid out of it's holder easily, and the Joker feigned interest in it, absently wiping it with the skirt of his dress as though he were polishing it. His eyes flitted to the man beside him, and he cocked his head innocently. "How long have you been working for me?" The henchman scratched the back of his neck uneasily, shrugging before answering in a gruff, low voice.

"You just hired me tonight." He'd been promised cash, and a lot of it, as well as threatened with death if he refused. That Joker just knew how to drive a hard bargain.. And he didn't know many people that were willing to defy him, besides Batman, and he was just as much of a freak as the clown next to him was! The Joker nodded thoughtfully beside him, running his finger over the edge of his blade and watching a thin line of blood well out of the shallow cut he'd made.

"And you've been doing such a _good_ job. But I'm sorry to say that I'm just not interested in what you have to offer anymore." The knife slashed out and caught the larger man across the throat, crimson liquid immediately spilling out of the wound created. The ex-henchman gurgled in shock as his hands flew to his throat, trying to stem the flow of his life's blood, only to cough more up from his mouth. "Plus, I don't like how you drive. What's with this _stopping_ on a red light? Don't you know that means you go _faster_?"

The Joker grinned widely at the nearly dead man, whose bloody hands had fallen from his neck and now lay limply in his lap. His murderer leaned over the unmoving body and opened the van door, undoing the other's seat belt before tossing him out of the vehicle and slamming the door behind him. Humming he re-buckled the seat belt and jammed his foot down on the gas pedal, cackling with glee as the van shot forward into oncoming traffic, miraculously not getting hit.

However the cars that had swerved out of the way to avoid him weren't so lucky, a few plowed into street stores, others into unfortunate pedestrians, and even more colliding with one another. The Joker watched the madness unfold through his rear view mirror, his mood greatly improved though the whole 'Bruce Wayne' incident was still bothering him. Rather than go back into such 'depressing' thoughts, the villain focused entirely on the road before him, trying to cause as many accidents as possible to make himself feel even better.

* * *

The rest of Bruce's party seemed to drag by without the woman in the red dress around, and the billionaire found himself moping over her disappearance. Women came up and asked him to dance, but he brushed them off, claiming he was either too tired or that he wasn't feeling well. Which was the truth, in a way. He'd never felt so confounded in his life, thoughts running around in circles as he tired to figure out why he was feeling so much for someone he'd only just met.

It was just so involuntary, just like the request to dance had been, and the.. kiss. He could still feel the woman's tongue against his, soft like velvet yet strong while dueling against his. It was.. well, to be frank, the most arousing kiss he'd ever received. Every other woman he'd kissed simply gave him control, immediately assuming the submissive roll, where as this woman had made him work for it. Almost like she herself didn't want to lose..

Bruce shook his head at the thought, figuring that the woman was just a fighter, and probably even more wild in bed. Perhaps he could've found out if she hadn't run off like that, leaving him alone and wanting. The end of the party couldn't come soon enough, and the billionaire nearly pushed his straggling guests out the door, a clearly fake smile plastered onto his face. He had to get some of this restless energy out.. Hopefully some crooks would be robbing a bank, giving him a chance to beat the shit out of them and free his anger, confusion, lust..

Someone cleared their throat from behind him, and he emerged from his daydreaming to turn and face Alfred, who was wearing a knowing look on his face, as well as a small smile. "I was glad to see you mingling with a guest so well, Master Wayne. However I wish you'd paid more attention to the rest of them, the ones that _wouldn't_ run away." Bruce chuckled slightly, trying to ignore the slight hurt he felt that came with the woman in the red dress fleeing so quickly after they'd kissed.

"Last time I checked Alfred, it was _my _party, meaning I have the right to 'mingle' with whoever I want, whenever." He knew he was being blunt and somewhat rude with his long time butler and friend, but that was just his frustration rearing it's ugly head. "I'm going to head out and get suited up. If things go well I should return by midnight tonight."

"Ah, that reminds me. Before you go to beat up some 'baddies,' I think you should know that your very dear friend the Joker escaped last night from Arkham. It was on the news this morning, but I figured you hadn't seen it, considering the fact that you were in meetings all day. So, now you know. I'll see you at twelve, Master Wayne." With that, Alfred gave Bruce a smile and a small bow before turning off and heading into the deeper bowels of the penthouse, to do god knows what.

Bruce stood in the same place for a total of ten minutes, mind reeling as he absorbed what the old man had just told him. A feeling of dread morphed in his stomach, as well as… eagerness? Perhaps he'd be able to get his bad feelings out tonight after all..

* * *

Upon arriving back at one of his numerous hideouts (he never stayed in one for too long; too risky) the Joker immediately slipped away from his newly hired henchmen in favor of quieter company; himself. The dress was shed with ease and replaced with his trademark, custom made purple suit, and his womanly make-up was scrubbed off and replaced with his face paint. Ah, it was good to be back, no matter how much fun playing dress up was.

Now he could go on with business as usual, as though he hadn't even been gone! Surely Batman missed him as much as he missed the caped crime fighter.. But what to do, what to do? Perhaps a warm up would be in order, just to get himself back in shape and once again the destroyer of Gotham's soul. It wouldn't take much more now, what with Batman on the outs and Harvey Dent dead, Gotham's precious White Knight no longer around to keep their spirits up.

After mulling over all the possible crimes he could commit, the Joker finally settled on one that was simple and bound to get attention: blowing something up. Gotham's citizens always went crazy when things exploded, especially important places, such as the hospital. Only problem was, it was late at night now, and no one would be up to see his lovely 'fireworks.' Perhaps he'd save the explosions for tomorrow? Yes, that would be smarter.. Besides, by now Batman probably knew he was out of the asylum and was looking for him.

He was probably also expecting him to make an explosive return to Gotham, and was most likely roaming the streets right now at this very moment. The Joker itched to go out and wreck havoc right at this very instant, but the thought of Batman spending his entire night waiting for him was much more amusing. Plus he didn't want to see predictable! Heaven forbid he become readable..

So, tonight they would simply prepare for tomorrow's little show, and do such quietly, so as to not arouse suspicion by the 'Dark Knight.'

* * *

**Author's Note:** Yeah, yeah I know, it's short and boring and crap. Buuut there will be an update either tomorrow or the day after and I swear that'll be longer and have more in it. Right now I'm too tired to add more and if I do it'll be crappy. Don't want that. Thanks again for your support, I probably wouldn't be so motivated to write if you guys weren't such sweethearts.

Also, I'm just curious. Do you prefer longer chapters or shorter ones?


	4. Out with the Old or the New?

(Warnings and all that other junk will be found in the first chapter)

**Disclaimer:** Bruce Wayne/Batman, Joker, and anyone else I throw in here do not belong to me.

**Note: **Kay, nice quick update for you, just because I dunno when I can update again. My dad caught me up last night and freaked so supposedly I can't use the computer anymore for a while. But I'm typing on my Sidekick (it's a sweet phone) so I can just e-mail the stuff I write to myself and post it later on. Bear with me and I will love you forever. Of course everyone wants long chapters, so I'll try to write long ones in a short amount of time, alright?

Okay, two things to say. One, in reply to your question **ShadowsCorpse525**, a bubble hem looks like this (this is actually the dress Joker was wearing XD) http /z.about .com/ d/fashion/ 1/7/X/e/2/redress .jpg. Just take out the spaces. Oh, and your review made me laugh out loud. I love how you put that question!

The second thing is I would like to thank **Shadoweyes1** for such a thorough and wonderful review. You made me feel a lot better my dear, and I thank you for that! This update's for you!

Oh and thanks to **Jadeile** for mentioning the typos. I found some in the first chapter too and I'm pretty mad at myself. But I appreciate you pointing them out to me!

'_Italics_'- Thoughts of characters

"_Italics_" – Whispering

* * *

Chapter Four- Out with the Old or the New?

* * *

To say that he was extremely disappointed would have to be a grave understatement. When Batman returned to his secret hide out (it really couldn't be called the Bat Cave) it was about three in the morning, and he hadn't run into a single criminal, insane or otherwise. He'd spent three extra hours out in the city, searching every dark corner for the Joker, constantly expecting the other man to pop out with some new way to cause destruction and mayhem. But, the villain never showed up, leaving the caped crusader feeling akin to a fool and even more tired than before.

Naturally Alfred wasn't down in the lair when he arrived, but he clearly had been judging by how tidy everything was, and the fact that there was a set of fresh clothes set out. As he stripped out of his uniform, Batman once again became Bruce Wayne, the emotionally and now physically exhausted billionaire who wanted nothing more to return to his penthouse and sleep for at least a week.

The last thought that entered his head before he drifted off to sleep, back in the comfort of his own home, once again had to do with the Joker, and what he could possibly be up to now.

Once again morning crept up on Bruce before he even expected it, causing him to let out a disgruntled moan when Alfred came into his room, looking like he got a good night's sleep. Which, he probably did, much to the billionaire's misery. "I thought you said you were turning in by twelve Master Wayne, but it became clear to me after an hour of waiting for you to arrive that you weren't going to make your 'curfew.' I would've stayed longer, but unlike you, I need my beauty sleep."

The tired man still lying in bed managed a chuckle, though he wasn't feeling all that humorous at the moment; more really dizzy and light-headed. "A handsome guy like you Alfred? You shouldn't have to sleep at all." In response to Bruce's sarcastic comment, the older man gave him a sound whack on the back of the head with the Gotham newspaper before placing it on his breakfast tray.

"I'm assuming you didn't meet up with your old friend last night? I see no 'tiger bites' or injuries of any sort. At least fresh ones. Maybe he's turned over a new leaf.. Going to Arkham can do that to people you know." Alfred was now over by Bruce's television, flicking it on and flipping to the news channel to see what was going on in the world at ten in the morning. The butler had called in for the billionaire, telling Lucius that he wasn't quite up to snuff today and would probably be more hindering than helpful. Naturally the black man understood completely and supported Alfred's decision, since Mr. Wayne never seemed to take a day off.

"The Joker? Going to the good side? Now you're the one sounding like you got no sleep last night. What time is it anyways? Do I have time to relax before I go to work or is it one of those rushing days?" For some reason Bruce couldn't find his digital clock, which usually sat on his bed stand, completely unaware that Alfred had hidden it for the time being. The older man tore his eyes away from the magical box known as a TV, casually looking at his watch and telling Bruce the time. "What?! Why didn't you wake me up Alfred? I'm late!"

"You're not going to work today Master Wayne, so you can stop running around like a headless chicken. I called Mr. Fox, and explained that you were running yourself ragged lately and needed a day off. So, you're free today." He ignored the billionaire's irritated glare, once more looking back at the television, only to let out a soft gasp and turn up the volume. "Master Wayne, you might want to listen to this.."

Bruce slowly walked over to where his old friend was standing, a feeling of déjà vu passing over him as he stared at the picture on the screen. It was another video, made by the clown himself, complete with terrible cameraman skills and hostages as always. Bruce sank into his leather chair, watching the video closely with steely eyes and white knuckled hands.

It showed two people in two wooden chairs, tied to them with thick rope and their mouths covered with silver duct tape. One was a young boy, who looked about five years old and was trembling sporadically, tears streaming down his face as well as snot. In the other chair was an old woman dressed in the gown that was used at Gotham's nursing home, her thick glasses askew and cracked, and her body shaking as much as the boy's. The Joker's voice came from behind the camera, cheerful yet menacing as it always was, and full of laughter.

"Hello again.. Long time no see Gotham.. I bet you thought I was gone, that I was never coming back.. But you can never make assumptions like that you know, since it always comes back to bite you in the butt. Now today I've got something very special for all of you.. A little game to see who gets more.. Appreciation in Gotham. The little brats or the old fogeys? I've got one of each here, and don't they look so happy?" The jerking camera zoomed in on the little boy and then the old woman, both of them wearing similar expressions of fear and pleading.

"I've given our Mayor a key, and this key disables a bomb. Now I bet you're wondering where the bombs are, right? I'll tell you.. One is located in the basement of Gotham's Elementary School, and the other in the basement of Gotham's Senior Center. The key works for both bombs, however... you only have one key. It is up to you, citizens of Gotham, to decide who is more important to you.. Your parents, grandparents, great uncles or aunts? Or your children, nieces, nephews, and accidents? You have a half hour until both bombs go off.. And don't even think of making a copy of the key, or else the bombs will be detonated early. Same rule applies if the school or nursing home is evacuated.

"So, is it out with the old, in with the new? Or out with the new and in with the old? Your call Gotham." The video ended with the Joker cackling in the background and the camera focused on his own face, which was of course smiling with sick and twisted glee.

* * *

The city was in complete turmoil, with swarms of people gathering outside the building that housed the Mayor's office, demanding for the key that would save their family members. Brawls broke out between disagreeing groups, causing anxious mothers to viciously attack those without children who wanted to save the elderly. The Joker was turning the city on itself with this little charade, which was what he'd been trying to do since the beginning..

Inside the Mayor's office sat Commissioner Gordon, his fingers drumming on arm rest of his chair as his eyes watched every tick of the clock. Only five minutes had passed but it seemed like so much more to the man who was a parent himself and had two little ones in the school that was currently housing a bomb. In the dark corner of the room lurked the Batman, who was mulling over the possibilities in his head, trying to think of a way to save both groups of people. He didn't want what had happened with Harvey and Rachel to happen in this case, especially when so many lives were on the line.

"We can't just sit here waiting Mayor, you know that! If we don't do something now, the kids and the senior citizens will die!" Gordon's nerves were wearing thin as another minute passed by, and he leapt to his feet, slamming his hands on the desk. "We have to pick which one to take the key to, and... we'll figure out what to do with the other one."

"Don't you think I realize this Commissioner? I myself have my mother in the nursing home and I don't want to have to make this decision! It's too much, too much.. He's gone too far this time." The Mayor let out a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to calm himself down and keep from getting hysterical.

"If we can find the Joker, neither bomb will go off." A gruff voice came from the corner of the room, and two pairs of eyes landed on the caped crusader, disbelief evident in both of them. "He sets the bombs off himself.. If these bombs are on a timer he must have some way to stop them from going off or to make them go off early. If we get to him before the thirty minutes are up, we can stop both the bombs and save all of their lives."

The Commissioner and the Mayor exchanged glances before they once more settled their eyes on Batman. "What if that's not the case this time? What if he was bluffing?" Gordon demanded as two more minutes slipped through his fingers, causing his heart to beat faster and his palms to sweat.

"He doesn't bluff. He's got a detonator, I know it. You go to the elementary school with the key, and I'll find him. If he's watching both buildings he must be in the middle of them, and there are only a few buildings he could possibly be in." With that said, the Dark Knight slipped out of the window to the Mayor's office, ready to hunt down the clown, whom he only had about twenty minutes to find.

Oh everything was going wonderfully! The Joker could barely contain his laughter as he watched the beatings occurring outside the Mayor's office from his hiding place, an apartment building that was located directly between the school and nursing home. Just like Batman had predicted. From here he could watch and make sure no one was attempting to leave his game early, his hand clutching the detonator to both bombs in his pocket. This was exactly how he wanted to get recognized again, and it would make sure that the people of Gotham never forgot him.

He was on the twentieth floor all by himself, having debated getting dogs again but deciding against it. Even if Batman found him, what could he possibly do? Well, besides beat him up, which proved to be rather enjoyable and even arousing.. The Joker's black outlined eyes flicked to the clock on the wall, and he bounced up and down in excitement; ten minutes left till show time! He didn't really care who he blew sky high, hating both little kids and old people equally, and secretly hoped he'd get to blow up both buildings.

"You just have to have the spot light, don't you?" The deep voice that always sent shivers down his spine sounded right behind him, and he instinctively spun around with his knife out, managing to catch the masked man across the face. Batman darted away from him with a low grunt before he lunged towards the villain, tackling him to the ground and pinning his arms over his head. "Where is it? Where's the detonator?"

"You seem tired Batman.. Were you out late last night looking for me? Sorry I didn't show up, I was too busy planning this game of mine.. Not everything revolves around you you know." The Joker grinned widely up at his attacker, unfazed by the position he was currently in. His smartass remark was met with a large fist to his jaw, and he let out a strangled giggle as his teeth ground together. "You're never going to get anything from me acting like that."

"Give it to me, now." Batman growled menacingly, lifting the villain's head before slamming it angrily against the wooden floor, taking pleasure in the sickening crack it made. However all he got was another maniacal laugh along with a wet cough rather than what he was looking for.

"What will you give me, hm? Another sentence to Arkham? Another three weeks of sitting in a white room while I hear the screams of the deranged around me every waking moment? I'm not crazy.. Not crazy at all.. Yet I get shipped off to Arkham. I refuse to go back there, and I know if I give you what you're looking for that that's where I'm going to go. So, how about we make a.. deal?" The Joker's eyes once more moved to the clock, and Batman's own soon followed, revealing that only five minutes remained until the bombs were supposed to go off.

If things had gone the way he hoped, at least the elementary school's bomb was already disabled.

"What type of deal?" The caped crusader finally asked after thirty precious seconds passed, feeling stupid for even considering taking the deranged man's offer. But trying to take the detonator by force could lead to it being set off early in a scuffle, and that was the last thing he wanted. The Joker's expression seemed.. coy for a moment, before his smirk returned, and he paused as if deep in thought, just to annoy his arch enemy.

"Weeeell, if you want the detonator, you have to give me two things.. One, you have to let me go, and two.. You have to kiss me." The silence between them after his last few words was deafening, Batman's eyes wide with shock and his mouth partially open in surprise. He shook his head rapidly before snapping his jaw shut, looking like he wanted nothing more then to kill the Joker right at that moment. What kind of villain asked for a.. a _kiss_?

Then again, the man beneath him was always full of surprises.

"That's all you want? A free pass and.." He couldn't even bring himself to say it, instead making a sound in his throat before refusing to meet the Joker's triumphant stare any longer, instead studying the man's red painted lips. He'd never kissed a man before, and he'd never _wanted_ to. Female was the only sex that interested him, this he knew for sure. But.. what was more important? His pride, or the lives of hundreds of elderly people and perhaps even children?

Plus it wasn't like anyone else could see them..

"Time's running oooout!" The Joker sang from under him, wriggling around a bit excitedly as if he already knew what the masked man's decision was. Because of course he'd do the _noble_ thing and save lives rather than not kiss him.

"Fine! It's a deal. But if you go back on your word-"

"I wouldn't dream of it. Now pucker up!" There was no missing Batman's cringe as the Joker closed his eyes and waited for another pair of lips to touch his own, his excitement evident in the way his body shook slightly. With a sigh, one that made it seem like he was walking to his own death, Batman leaned down and pressed his lips against the villain's forcefully. If he was going to do this, he wasn't going to make it enjoyable.

Teeth clicked viciously against each other, and tongues were bitten as the pair kissed, the Joker's make up smearing all over the bottom half of Batman's face. By the time it ended, both of them were out of breath, and the villain was sporting both a bleeding lip and tongue thanks to his enemy's harsh bites. But he didn't mind the coppery tang of blood in his mouth, or the abusiveness of the kiss. All he cared about was that fact that he'd gotten a kiss.

Absently his hand slipped back into his jacket pocket and he pulled out the bomb detonator, placing it in one of Batman's gloved hands. The larger male stiffly rose to his feet, tempted to kick the Joker who was grinning up at him once again, this time as though he had a dirty little secret. Which, he did, unfortunately. "Get out of here, before I change my mind." Batman snapped at the purple suited man, wiping his face in a fruitless attempt to remove the white and red paint from it.

"You know.. I never said the kiss had to involve tongue.. Are you sure you didn't want it too?" At Batman's hate filled glare, the Joker let out a pleased giggle before he scrambled to his feet and raced from the apartment, leaving the Dark Knight to disarm the bombs and wonder what the hell had just happened.

* * *

**Author's Note**: I spent literally like.. a whole day and a half trying to come up with a way for the Joker to cause mayhem in Gotham, and this popped into my head. Sorry if it seems dumb or stupid, but it's the best I got people. XD Anyways, there was some Batman/Joker in there, and that's going to show you how their relationship will be. It's not going to be all butterflies, puppies, and rainbows…

Final thing, do you think I need a beta? And if you do, does anyone want to take the job? All I ask if that you have proper grammar, good spelling, and a lot of patience. Oh, and a kind heart would be nice too. 3


	5. Jealousy Becomes You

(Warnings and all that other junk will be found in the first chapter)

**Disclaimer:** Bruce Wayne/Batman, Joker, and anyone else I throw in here do not belong to me.

**Note: **I've discovered that I have the attention span of a flea. This whole chapter took me forever when I finally decided to write it and I am definitely not satisfied with it. I apologize for the wait people.. I'm not too good at motivating myself to write, so I need someone to do it for me. In this case you're lucky I did it by myself. XD

'_Italics_'- Thoughts of characters

"_Italics_" – Whispering

* * *

Chapter Five- Jealousy Becomes You

* * *

Alfred could tell something was wrong with his long time friend when he returned to the penthouse, and he had a good feeling it had to do with the villain whom had supposedly 'gotten away' after their 'fight.' It wasn't unusual for Bruce to be tense after encountering a criminal, the adrenaline still racing through his system and making him on his toes. But today the man looked like he was just about ready to jump out of his skin, every little movement from anyone that wasn't him causing his eyes to flash.

After having the billionaire nearly throw anything he was holding over five times, Alfred had to draw the line, and managed to corner the other man while he was getting himself dressed up for dinner. Bruce had decided to call back the woman whom he meant to go out to lunch with, desiring a sort of distraction to keep himself from remembering what had happened earlier in the day. He'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit he felt a bit spooked by the kiss he had shared with his arch enemy, and apparently it was showing.

"Master Wayne, I do hate to interrupt you when you're getting dressed, considering you already take longer than a girl on her prom night to get ready, but.. I have the strangest feeling that you've got something on your mind. Care to share the thoughts that are giving you such a forlorn look?" The older man was trying to appear casual, as he always did when confronting an issue that was bothering his friend, his eyes focused on the dressing figure.

"I'd rather keep my own thoughts to myself Alfred, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't compare me to a teenager; a female one nonetheless. Tonight I am concerning myself with my date with…" Bruce paused, wracking his brain in an attempt to think of the woman's name whom he was going out with, unable to even picture her in his mind. They all were the same to him now.. Except the woman in the red dress, who seemed to be a black sheep out of the herds of women he saw daily.

"Her name would be Josie, Master Wayne, Josie Fletcher. I suggest you write it down so you don't refer to her as 'you' the entire time out. Somehow I think you'll lose your charm if you treat her like a servant, or even worse, a stranger." Even though both men knew this 'Josie' was a stranger, someone who would enter the billionaire's life and leave just as quickly as she had come, perhaps tonight if things went terribly. Which, they probably would, seeing as Bruce's luck with women had gone down the drain since Rachel died..

"I won't forget. Besides, don't you think she'd be even more insulted, seeing me look at a paper every moment before I say her name? Unless you want me to be even more discreet and write it on the palm of my hand." Now the two were playfully bantering, the butler's presence managing to calm and distract the billionaire for the moment, something he was thankful for. He knew he could tell Alfred anything, anything at all, but this was one thing he was unwilling to share with the other man, since he could hardly wrap his own mind around it.

"Ah yes, that was going to be my second brilliant idea, followed by you sticking an earpiece in your ear and me feeding you her name every time you forget it. I doubt Lucius would appreciate his technology being used in such a way however. Now come here and let me straighten up your tie. You don't want to go out looking like a frump, do you?" Slightly shaking but still nimble fingers arranged Bruce's tie and tightened it up so the man looked more presentable, and Alfred stepped back to admire his work.

"Yes, but I also don't want to go out looking like my mother dressed me." For the comment, the billionaire received a disapproving glare and his tie was tightened further until he was more than just a little bit uncomfortable. "I'll be returning to the penthouse after this 'date,' or whatever you'd like to call it, rather then going out." Alfred's eyebrows raised a fraction of an inch, his eyes widening a bit in surprise as he realized what Bruce was saying.

"You won't be patrolling the city tonight Master Wayne? I would've thought differently, considering with what happened this morning…" The butler could tell he hit a sore spot when the man before him cringed just the tiniest bit, before he recovered and straightened up, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair. Bruce decided to ignore the other man's comment, instead pulling back the sleeve of his expensive jacket to check the time.

"I better be going, otherwise I'll be late picking up Julia." Briskly the well dressed man walked out of his bedroom and headed towards the front door, aware of the set of footsteps behind him. He knew that Alfred wouldn't let him off the hook just yet, and he'd probably be bothered about his 'jumpiness' later, but that was something he was certainly used to. The butler was irritatingly persistent; something Bruce admired and loathed all at the same time.

"Ah yes, smart idea Master Wayne. And it's Josie! Write it down like I told you too dammit!"

* * *

It was about six o'clock when Bruce Wayne's Lamborghini pulled up outside a large apartment building, where the infamous Josie supposedly lived. The billionaire slid out of his precious car, closing the door softly before locking it and proceeding to climb the steps into the main building. According to what Alfred said, his date inhabited the fourth floor, room number five, and would be awaiting for his arrival at six sharp. Why she wanted them to be so strictly on time was beyond Bruce, seeing as he knew if they were late the restaurant would let them in, but he decided to follow her wishes.

It wasn't as though he had anything better to be doing, besides reliving that moment when red painted lips clashed against his own and- A quick shake of his head managed to dispel all thoughts of said moment, and the billionaire forced a casual smirk into place before he knocked rapidly on door number five. His hands then slipped into his pockets as he tapped his toes idly, used to having to wait for women to come to the door. No doubt this one was doing the last minute touches on her make up or something, and then she'd be scrambling for the door like her ass was on fire.

"Bruce! Oh I'm so glad you decided to reschedule our date!" Bruce hadn't even noticed the door had opened, too caught up in his own thoughts to take in his surroundings. Once he was back in the real world however, his eyes flicked over his date, who was definitely beautiful. Like most of the women he was seen with, this one was slender, with just enough curves, a generous bosom, and long silky hair, that in Josie's case was pitch black. She wore a simple black cocktail dress, and held a small black and gold clutch in her hand, her glossed lips pulled into a cheerful smile.

"I wouldn't miss going out with you for the world Josie." The billionaire replied as charmingly as possible, flashing his usual smile which naturally had the woman blushing and tittering like a lovesick teen. She wouldn't have been swooning so much had she known Bruce nearly called her 'Jessie' rather than 'Josie.' The pair hooked arms as the male led his date down the hallway to the elevators, listening to her chatter away in his ear with as much interest as possible. Normally he'd just block out her mindless babble, but his mind needed to be preoccupied so that it would stop playing that goddamn kiss over and over in his head.

Thankfully Josie didn't seem to mind doing all the talking, continuing to prattle on about her job, friends, and even past dates, something that managed to hold Bruce's attention longer than three seconds. He wasn't surprised to hear that the black haired woman liked dating powerful men, as most of the women in Gotham did, nor was he shocked that she'd been 'watching him for quite sometime now.' It was all the same with his dates.. So monotonous that he hardly believed he even bothered going through with them still.

Perhaps that was why he'd liked the woman in the red dress so much. She was mysterious, unpredictable, and _thankfully_ silent, which was something Bruce was not used to when it came to women. Now his mind was wandering and Josie's voice faded into the background as his head was filled with images of his dance partner from the previous night. Was she thinking about him too? Probably not-

"Bruce? Bruce, are you listening to me? We're here. You can turn the car off now." Indeed, he had unconsciously pulled into a parking space outside the restaurant they had reservations too, and was now sitting in the car staring blankly ahead. The billionaire swiftly snapped out of his second reverie, offering his somewhat bothered date an apologetic smile before he pulled the keys out of the ignition.

"Excuse me Josie, I'm a little tired tonight I'm afraid.. Late night business meetings, you know." Thankfully the dark haired woman didn't press the matter and let a smile cross her face once more, waiting for Bruce to open the passenger door for her before she gracefully slipped out. "I made sure to get the best seats in the house, just for you." The classic line he fed to nearly every girl he bought to this restaurant, and he got the same flattered and pleased reaction every time.

They were graciously seated by a waiter as soon as Bruce's face was seen by the host, in the center of the restaurant, surrounded by other tables whose inhabitants looked on in envy. Ordering himself a glass of wine, the billionaire settled into his chair and prepared himself for a long night of listening to Josie tell her life story, unaware that he and his date were being watched.

* * *

When he wore his classic face paint, he more or less stuck out like a sore thumb and everyone started screaming like he was some sort of homicidal maniac coming to kill them all. Where they got such an idea, he'd never know. However, the Joker had noticed that when he _didn't_ wear his paint, and kept his head down and face covered, he could blend in without having the entire eyes of Gotham on him. Now of course he didn't care if people saw him, but in this case he'd rather remain inconspicuous so he could do his 'Bruce-watching' in peace.

He wouldn't call it 'spying,' because that was such a.. creepy sounding term. And he, of course, was not a creep.

So, he stood outside the restaurant that Bruce and his new squeeze were currently residing in, not-spying on the pair through the wide glass window that let people from the outdoors see into the dining area. The villain was dressed in the purple pants that went along with his suit, but his top half was covered by a large parka with the hood up, bathing his scarred face in shadows. After he escaped from Batman's clutches (thoroughly aroused and antsy), he had returned to one of his many hideouts where he managed to tame the beast inside him by disposing of a few of his lackeys.

Once he grew bored of their dying screams and pleas for mercy, the Joker had begun to wonder what his old pal Brucey was up to, and if he missed him. It hadn't taken much prying to find the billionaire's current whereabouts, and when the more or less crazed man discovered _his_ man was out with another woman, he was definitely displeased. But never jealous. No.

Not even as he watched her bat her eyes at Bruce did he feel that evil monster clawing at his belly, or when she reached across the table and grabbed his hands in her own, as though they were already going to get married. Yet for some reason he couldn't help but clench his jaw and grind his teeth together, his fingers sliding over the smooth blade in his parka pocket. Oh how he wanted to slice that little bitch's throat for even thinking she had a chance with Bruce Wayne.

It was the pain that made him realize what he was thinking. The Joker had accidentally wrapped his hand around the blade in his anger and squeezed, causing the sharp edges to cut into his soft flesh. Absently the man pulled out his hand to peer at the cuts on it, ignoring the warm blood that dribbled down his palm and onto the pavement below. With every drip of the crimson liquid, the villain sank deeper and deeper into thought, his eyes narrowed and focused on the man and his date.

He didn't know what it was that made him _want_ Bruce Wayne so bad, but that yearning.. It was burning though him and seeing the taller man with such a whore made him want to blow up the nearest building without broadcasting it on television. Which, of course, was preposterous, since the Joker always enjoyed involving the press in his little shenanigans. That, and the fact that he wouldn't see where Bruce's fling lived was the only thing that stopped him from turning the neighboring building into fiery rubble.

So, he instead settled for playing with his now slippery, blood covered knife, refusing to let his eyes leave the couple in the warm, welcoming restaurant. If things went his way, it would be their last date.

* * *

"Oh Bruce, that was wonderful! I had such a lovely time with you tonight.. I hope we can do it again soon." Josie stood on her tip toes, even too short with her high heels on, to give the billionaire a kiss on the lips and wrap him in a gentle hug outside the door to her apartment. Their date had gone unusually well, the black haired woman proving to be more than just a bimbo with a blabber mouth, and Bruce found himself feeling reluctant to end the night.

"I hope so too Josie. Have a good night." Impulsively he leaned down and kissed her cheek, before he turned on his heel and made his way back to the elevator, mentally going through his schedule to find a date when they could go out again. As the elevator doors closed shut, the door tucked in the corner labeled 'Stairwell' opened, revealing the Joker himself, wiping the last of the apartment's landlord's blood off his hands and onto a handkerchief.

Whistling cheerfully, the villain flounced down the hall to door number five, and pulled out the second key that he had taken from the oh so helpful landlord, sliding it into the lock. If he found it strange that there was no one else currently wandering the halls, he didn't show it, opening the door silently and sliding inside like a shadow before closing it just as soundlessly. The tell tale sounds of a shower were coming from a closed door located a few feet away and the Joker wasted no time in stalking over to the door, pressing his ear against it.

A woman, presumably the whore, was humming within, and just the sound of it made the ever smiling man grimace briefly before his joyous expression returned. His hand (still tinted red with blood) rested on the gold doorknob for a moment before he finally opened the door, a cloud of hot steam swamping him, smelling of flowery shampoos. Once more the door was shut, and the new presence within the room made it's way over to the woman showering, her hands currently tangled in her hair and scrubbing shampoo into it.

Just as she was about to rinse, a pair of hands that didn't belong to her seized her soapy locks and pulled her viciously out of the porcelain basin and onto her back. Josie's face was frozen in horror as she stared up at the man who had snatched her from her shower, her drenched body shaking with frightened sobs and she mumbled incoherently, pleading for her life.

"What's the matter? You look nervous.. I'm sure Brucey wouldn't like to see you like this.. No, he'd much rather see you _smile_ don't you think? Let's put a smile on that face for him.." One hand still was wrapped around her soaking hair, the other now ran a knife along her full, trembling lips, from which cries for mercy tumbled. But no amount of pleading would stop the Joker once he had started, especially not in this case, and the tip of the knife found its way into the corner of Josie's mouth, stretching the skin out. "Now we're going to turn this frown, upside down."

The piercing shriek from room number five on the fourth flour went completely unheard by the rest of the inhabitants of the apartment.

* * *

**Author's Note:** wow that was painful to write. And it sucked. But I needed to show how much Joker loves his new 'friend.' Poor Josie, never stood a chance. Anyways, I dunno when I'll update this again. Ideas for this are low.. The first few chapters I knew where I was going with this and now I'm kinda lost. If anyone has any suggestions I'd love to hear them. Thanks for your kind words and such. If you want another update soon you better kick me in the ass aha.


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